Im just so upset right now. How is it you just can't help but love your bm when she is how she is. Im doing more over here than she is over there but she can get my love? She's been a bitch she's been regressing into her old ways she's using your kids to manipulate you and you're feeding right into it. She gets special treatment and for what? So she won't use your kids...too late. Im so glad she can talk to you about all the shit she can't change and all the bullshit you "don't" care about but i can't. You say its bs and you ain't paying attention but you got to go over there to talk. Its got to be in person. Do i look stupid? Bitch got a phone and y'all talk all the time. She continues to disrespect me and you let her. You even cross lines for her an if i were to say anything to her id be in trouble. I could show you the true value of a dollar. I could help you be the best man. One better than our fathers. I guess that's not my place. Despite your "help". You have no patience for me you don't remember anything of mine tho you used to. You literally tell me to shut up now. You don't respond when i try to talk...you just get mad and silent.
I want what we had in the beginning. I want you to grow up. I want your best for me and your kids. I want you to open your eyes. I want your heart. I want you to be ready for me. I want you yo be the one...i thought you were...now not so much. It hurts...i want it to stop hurting. You could do so much more and yet i ask so little. I do so much and yet you ask for more. If i left you, you wouldn't fight to keep me. If i left you with what you came in with, you'd want to fight me. If i leave I'll want to die. Im hopeless and i am done. I am through with love. Being a good person only gets you fucked. Love gets you fucked. Relationships aren't logical and only exist for the lonely and dependant enabling the behavior thus rotating the cycle. Shouldn't have ran...now my head hurts and again i can't have a min to be human cus kids are about to get up. Tears are for the privileged. I can't afford emotions.
