Mother May I?

So my mom has managed to make me feel completely inadequate and unable to take care of a child. I understand that's not how she feels. She did give me a couple things to consider but nothing that would stop me. She wants me wait till 28 pretty much so I'm damn near if not 29 by the time the baby actually gets here. I've only been 25 for 3mos. That's four yrs! No fuck that. That's what I'm trying to not deal with, having my first kid at 30. I believe if the lord blesses me with a child he's got my back on taking care of it. I'm relying on my strength my faith my smarts me and my God to raise this kid. I know that's more than enough and it's what I want more than anything. My heart is just so full of pain and sadness from all angles and sometimes I feel like it's just too much. In my rut I told Mr. X that I might not go through with it... regretted it as soon as I hit send. I know I can do this! My reasons are good. I am only human and had a weak moment; I just hope Mr. X doesn't think I'm being flaky. I wonder how seriously Mr. X is even considering this anyway. Don’t want to get my hopes up especially since it seems like a really good idea. Got a feeling in the end I'll just be back where I started. Who knows?