Friday, January 30, 2015

New Years 2015

OK my NY didn't completely suck but...no one asked me if I wanted to go to a show. NY eve had sex took a nap then waited Hrs for rob to get up. Last min throw on work clothes and buy him weed and Paul. Get there and basically fend for myself as he talks to everyone and enjoys himself. Midnight rolls around and no kiss cus he's not even by me. He drank all the champagne. He had fun. It was all about what he wanted. I couldn't even take off my hat my outfit wasn't nice at all. Idk it was OK but not really. All I did was try to keep him happy and he had a ball but what about me. Now he's got a headache and blah blah so I guess my year is all set for servitude... I'm not sure what else I'm here for. Oh and I was told I'm not the backbone/motivator he needs. I have not been told I love you yet and I'm sure I'll be wrong if I bring any of this up to him. I just wanted to spend time with him. I wanted him to want to be with me. Not looking around after everyone has said happy new year cus it just clicked you're nowhere near me. Then ask can I get my kiss...really? He says he follows me all the time but he doesn't. We don't do what I want or go where I want. I'm just an extension of him. Well his year started good I guess. Even my birthday is supposed to be all about what he wants and I have to share it with his sister he doesn't even talk to...sometimes I feel like I should just be alone cus that's the only way I'll be number one, is if I'm the only one.

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